As a director or producer in the movie business you always start out with a vision, as with any art. With movies , particularly, there is a journey and characters to connect with. Characters we want to love or love to hate. But one persons vision or one teams vision doesn't always connect to mass appeal. Or what looks good on paper, sometimes can get lost on the way to the big screen. Some of these "bombs" get totally lost in translation, but then some of these "bombs" for one reason or another we can't get enough of. Here's a list of the Top 10 Worst Movies we can't stop watching:
10. Street Fighter - There still hasn't been a good "game-to-film" adaptation, but even by the standards of the genre, this one's a pretty poor effort. Despite combining the martial arts skills of JCVD with the being very perky skills of Kylie Minogue, was just not convincing.
09. Scary Movie - The original in the slap stick-spoof genre, where the wisdom of Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker is rudely shoved aside in favour of replaying whole scenes from better films with worse casts, and fart gags are substituted for wit or visual humour. This one is far from the worst of the genre, but gets points deducted for sparking so many bad sequels and spin-offs. Also for spoofing a film that was, in itself, a satire.
08. Jaws: The Revenge -To steal from Dennis Pennis, this is a C-movie in every sense of the word. Alongside a hoaky script and B-rated dream sequences, it's got a replica Great White so rubbery you could cut circles out of it and use it for spare tires, several glaring continuity errors, and a confused-looking Michael Caine in desperate need of a new agent. Oh, and don't forget a shark eating an plane.
07. Blade Trinity -David Goyer takes credit for this top example of franchisicide. The screen writer's decision to step behind the camera backfires explosively in Blade's third installment, with Dracula roped for a fiendishly silly vampire plot to infect humanity. Anyone else could fairly blame his scriptwriter for the muddy, incoherent storyline. Unfortunately for Goyer, he's also the head writer.
06. Epic Movie -This lazy collection of spoofs is recreations of scenes from blockbuster movies and, for no obvious reason, the likes of Nacho Libre and Borat, but with added scatological humour. Even if that were forgivable, the waste of actual talent like Crispin Glover, Kal Penn and Kids in the Hall's Kevin McDonald is not.
05. Batman and Robin -Gaining nearly three times as many votes as the next entry, this was a runaway loser. From the neon design to the overblown script to the infamous Batnipples, it's become a byword for franchise-killing (no other Batman Movie was made for decades) and bad movie-making. The only thing that saves it is the cast of A-list actors including George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger and more. Even though the acting is cheesy it's still fun to watch.
04. Escape from LA - Yes a follow-up to Escape From New York and equally stupid. Although no smart action film has included climatic scenes like a goofy basketball challenge from half court, or an underground sewer surfing scene with equally goofy CG.
03. Disaster Movie - Friedberg and Seltzer (director and screenwriter), talentless hacks behind a string of godawful spoofs, turn their sights on a genre, but with their usual scatter shot aim they end up hitting innocent bystanders in their endless journey to fill 90 minutes without using a single original line of dialogue or funny gag. Woefuly Freidberg and Seltzer persist, but don't succeed, in their notion that replaying entire scenes from better films, word for word, can be funny.
02. Glitter - It must have seemed like a good idea: one of the biggest selling record artists of all time, a couple of good tunes, a familiar Star Is Born storyline and lack of acting from our star? Although the star could sing, the music didn't spawn a hit and the film itself is stupefyingly dull and badly put together on every level from cinematography to plotting.
#1. Waterworld - Directed by Kevin Renolds, Kevin Coctner puts his brand on an"snails paced" post-apocalyptic epic tale. Aside from the average sullen Costner facial expressions there is a hidden gem of a typically deranged performance from the late Dennis Hopper and some stunning cinematography. But overall too long and too wet.
So why do we watch 'em, cause we love bad movies and mindless humor, most of which requires little thought. At least I know I do!
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